Blue post

So I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. A few things happened, some good and some bad.

I was sick for a week, Jason for two. It was a shopping spree at the drugstore for cold medicine and then for Pepto-Bismol and gravol.

The good news: healthwise, I'm feeling better.

Then came Marley. I don't even want to write about him because it hurts and I'm afraid that one day when I read my blog it will hurt again.

Marley is the shih-tzu puppy we adopted at thebeginning of October. He is one of the 5 puppy litter born in May 2011 to my mother's dog Pouf (Lhasa Apso) and her neighbor's female Shih tzu.

Marley was the only puppy my mother got and she decided to give him to a lady living under her apartment to keep her company. After she moved and realized she could no longer care for him, Jason and I decided to adopt him.

So Marley came in on Sunday the 2nd of October and adapted pretty well to his new environment. He made himself a spot on the couch to sleep on, knew which item to grab with his mouth to have us chase him, hadhis potty schedule and his little nook under the to sleep quietly or hide.

However since Marley is 5 months old, he is still a bit insecure and suffers from separation anxiety. I tried to teach him it was ok to be alone and tested him a few times. Hours at a time, he would remain in the bedroo
and whine for a few minutes and then remained quiet. I rewarded him with his favorite: sweet potato stick wrapped in duck jerky.

We decided it would be safe enough to go out Saturday night for a birthday party and leave the dog home alone, considering he had done so well. We were coming back home in a few hours.

It's 11pm when we get home and someone knocks at the door. Crap. The neighbor. Well the dog spent the entire time crying and he got fed up so he called the landlord a few times, which in return called herself a few times and left messages.

Speaking to the landlord, Jason tells her we are babysitting the puppy for a few days. She tells him the dog can't stay because our lease states no animals allowed. Funny since that exact neighbor has 4 cats, but whatever.

My mother picked up Marley the next morning, along with all his "stuff". It's been real hard on me. The worst is that he is not adjusting to the change well at all. Marley is housetrained so he sits in front of the door for you to know he's gotta go. He did his business all over my mom's floor all day today and keeps crying. My heart is litterally broken into millions of pieces. It hurts to know he's unhappy because of this. I feel like shit. I got attached to quickly, got usedto our little routine so easily and it really feels like something is missing. I come home and there's nothing to dodge when walking through the door frame. There's no one jumping of joy when I come home. There's no Meatloaf Marley (nickname Jason had given him) to take for a walk at night. The worst: noone sleeping at the end of my bed, waiting for me to get up and play to start the day. Gone.

Some might think it's stupid. But Marley was all I was looking for in a long time. Unconditional love, other than the relationship I have with my human family and boyfriend. Marley was the happiest thing in the world when he saw me come home and it made me feel good. I felt loved. I miss him so much. I wish I could have him right here, sleeping in that little space between my boyfriend and I, making himself comfortable on my bed.

But Marley couldn't stay. I understand why. I also understand that i am giving him the opportunity to have a better life and maybe a house with a big backyard where he could chase squirrels without being tied to a leash.

I miss him. I love him. Very very much. He made me feel alive and important while I was his owner.