Day 4: perseverance

If I thought yesterday was tough I had no idea what today had in plan for me. I was really not up to it today. I was tired and hungry and ready to give up. I am too lucky to have so many supportive people in my life. 

I woke up really tired with an achy arm. Must've slept on it. I called the hospital to speak to the nutritionist about meat cravings and turns out meat is a major no-no for the purpose of the diet. I wasn't happy. 

I arrived at work not wanting to be there, just wanting to sleep all day. I was so hungry and really wanted to cheat and eat something with meat. I scared myself. My mind was spinning and just trying to scheme away, looking for an easy way out. 

I did end up cheating during the day, but by eating an extra portion of veggies. And I actually felt good. I didn't give in to temptation and stuck it out. I did what I had to do and although I was sleepy all day I made it through.

Here is what I had today:

Breakfast:

-Protilife oatmeal with 1 kiwi

-1 portion low-fat cheese

Lunch:

-Protilife chocolate and cream bar

-1 portion salad consisting of spinach, red cabbage, cucumber and tomato with lemon juice

Snack:

-1container of grapes and cheese from the cafeteria

Late afternoon snack/supper:

-1 Protilife beef and veggie soup

-1 portion salad consisting of spinach, red cabbage, cucumber and tomato with lemon juice

Late night snack:

-1 Protilife coconut lemon bar

Overall today was total crap. But I'm glad I did it. I can't believe day 4 is already over. I did enjoy the salad from work. I'm thinking of making that a staple in my diet on a daily basis. I love the crunch! I always loved salad but this really hit the spot. I'm thinking I should call the nutritionist and ask if it's ok to "cheat" with a salad when I'm super hungry.

I ended up buying the right Nutribar shake with added protein (in chocolate because it tastes really good!) so I'm looking forward to trying that tomorrow. So far my favourite days are "shake days". I love that I can eat an egg and cheese in the same day.

I have to find a way to keep my spirits up! I need to focus on the now rather than look at the remaining days and think it's impossible to accomplish. I'm so close and I shouldn't give up now! 

gabythegirlnextdoor 

30 day pre-op diet plan

Pre-op diet:

Boost diet:
Morning: diabetic Boost and 1 portion fruit
Lunch: diabetic Boost
Afternoon snack: 1 portion fruit + 1oz. low-fat cheese
Supper: diabetic Boost
Late-night snack: diabetic Boost

Protilife Diet:
Morning: 1 Protilife oatmeal and 1 portion fruit
Lunch: 1 Protilife bar and 1oz. low-fat cheese
Afternoon snack: 1 portion fruit
Supper: 1 Protilife soup and 1oz. low-fat cheese
Late-night snack: 1 Protilife bar

Nutribar Protein Plus Shake Diet:
Morning: 1 shake + 1 egg or 1oz. low-fat cheese
Lunch: 1 shake
Afternoon snack: 1 portion of fruit
Supper: 1 shake
Late-night snack: 1oz. low-fat cheese

Drink a minimum of 1.5L of liquids (unlimited water, coffee, tea,  fat-free stock, Crystal Light)

Sugar free gum and sugar free Jell-O are allowed.

The following veggies are allowed up to one cup total per day:
Asparagus, broccoli, cawliflower, celeri, cucumber, spinach, string beans,  lettuce, snap peas, bell peppers, radishes, fresh tomatoes.

NO DRESSING OR DIP.

Day 3: cravings

Wow today was tough. 

It started off great! Right after I posted last night I found the online chat forum I had been part of back when I found out about my doctor. And lucky enough a lady had posted the diet plan I have to follow in one of her posts! I will make a separate post with my diet plan. 

And as I suspected I was doing two things wrong: 

1. I was underfeeding

2. I was supposed to buy the Nutribar shake mix with added protein (not as bad of a mistake as the first!!!)

So that explains the headaches... The heartburn... 

And I decided that today I would do shakes again. Best part: I was allowed to eat an egg with my shake for breakfast! I was so happy! I scrambled it plain in a nonstick pan and added a drop of fat-free chicken stock concentrate and it tasted yummy!

So here is what I had today:

Late breakfast:

-Nutribar shake with 2% milk

-1/2 portion of low-fat mozzarella

-1 organic farm egg with a drop of chicken stock concentrate (for flavouring) and the tiniest amount of butter just so it wouldn't stick (and it still did so that shows how little was used!)

Lunch:

-2 portions Nutribar shake with 2% milk

-portion of grapes and cheese

Late afternoon break:

-3 cups fat-free chicken stock 

Supper:

-Soup made with 2 cups of chicken stock and 1 portion melted fat-free mozzarella

This is when things got challenging. I got super hungry in the afternoon. I realized I should have split my shakes in two. One for lunch and one for later in the afternoon. It took everything for me to concentrate on work and not think about food! I was looking up pictures of food on the internet and my nose developed a super sense of smell! 

I was basically craving meat. Badly. Any meat. And I'm wondering if it's because I am not taking the shake with added protein. 

Regardless, the cravings went away when I got home and ate my "cheese soup". My sister doesn't think it looks appetizing but it's the closest thing I can have to chicken noodle soup!

I'm going to have to make myself hard-boiled eggs for when I have meat cravings. You don't understand. I come from an italian background. Meat is part of every meal, every snack. There is meat everywhere. Everybody eats meat. We were made carnivorous. I will either have to contact the dietician and ask if I am allowed to incorporate some lean meats to my diet, or get some spices to add to some cooked veggies and eggs.

But all that aside, day 3 is over and day 4 starts. I'm going to do Protilife tomorrow. I really like the idea of getting my grapes and cheese at work as a snack (although I secretly wish it was low-fat cheddar...) and it's on-the-go but healthier! 

Stay tuned for the next post: my diet plan and options.

gabythegirlnextdoor 

Day 2: Challenge

I woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a bus. My body must still be recovering from moving but mostly from lack of sleep these past couple of weeks. My also woke up realizing I got a sunburn Sunday afternoon. Fun times. But I was determined to try the shakes today.

I still don't have my meal plan yet (hint to my boyfriend: get that friggen box already!) so I had to improvise again today but I feel I did a good job.

I'm still not sure I bought the right variety of shake mix from the bran suggested (Nutribar) but I figured that it would still be better than what I would normally eat at work. Biggest concern was that the shake mix requires a cup of milk... (Am I supposed to drink milk??!) and it wants me to use 2%... I was able to find two 200ml containers of skim milk at the cafeteria at work and it tasted perfectly fine!

So here is what I ate!

Breakfast/lunch (I don't really eat in the morning because I take my thyroid pill!):

Some celery and carrots (left some for the rest of my day to nibble on)

Lunch (late afternoon): 

-2 shake portions (with 2X 200ml skim milk) 

-container of grapes and some cheddar (my fave snack from the cafeteria and I forgot to pack some fruit)

Late afternoon snack:

-leftover carrots and one cup of diluted fat-free chicken broth 

Supper:

-2 portions of shake with 500ml of 2% milk (I have to go out and buy skim milk IF this is the variety of shake I'm supposed to take!)

-1cup fat-free chicken stock with a bit of grated low-fat mozzarella melted in it

I did not feel any heartburn today! Didn't have headaches either. I did drink water all day long. I didn't have Perrier until now. I felt great! I was really tired when I woke up this morning but as the day progressed I felt like I had more energy and I didn't start feeling tired in the afternoon like I usually would (which would make me go out and buy myself a Coke at the vending machine! Sometimes 2 or 3 in one day!)

I'm ready to attack Day 3. I don't really think this is a "liver detox". I am not exactly sure what they would call it but I know it's to "shrink" my liver and reduce the fat around it, if there is, which there probably is as obesity usually causes a liver to get engorged with fat. 

My plan for tomorrow is to use Protilife (because I'm still not sure what I'm doing!!!) and I was thinking of starting to take some "before" pictures that I would compare myself to the day before surgery, and then the weeks following surgery. One thing is for sure: I am more determined than ever. God gave me a second chance at life. It is the opportunity of a lifetime and I cannot mess this up. I may have failed many things in life but I cannot fail my health. When you feel like nothing is working and you feel like giving up, just remember that if there is a will there is a way and I just need this extra "push" to get myself there.

gabythegirlnextdoor 

Day 1: Liver detox

Today was hard. I won't lie.

I bought all my meal supplies (Protilife meals, Nutribar shake mix, Glucerna) and I bought bottle water, low fat cheese and fat free chicken broth. However my diet plan is tucked somewhere in my moving boxes and I couldn't find it! So I pretty much winged it today. I'm kind of worried I did something wrong but here is what I ate:

Breakfast/lunch (woke up around noon...): Protilife chocolate and cream bar and bottles water

Lunch/afternoon snack: Protilife coconut lemon bar and Perrier (which I'm allowed to drink! Yay!)

Supper: Protilife beef vegetable and noodle soup with low fat mozzarella and Perrier

I think I probably ate less than I was supposed to (which would explain my mild headache and constant hungry feeling). I know for a fact that as I was reminding myself subconsciously not to think of other foods and to only eat what I'm supposed to eat I would forget to drink water throughout the day. So far I have only drank water when I ate. I'm assuming it's the reason behind my really bad acid reflux I've been having since this afternoon.

I'm now getting ready for bed and I armed myself with 2 bottles of water which I plan on downing before bed (1 down another to go...) and my favourite; Perrier, which I know many people keep telling me it's not good for the salt but I was told by the nutritionist that I can drink as many as I want. I know I can't only drink that but so far I've had two 500ml bottles and I'm about to drink one last one for the day, when usually I will drink up to 3 1L bottles.. Maybe 4 on a hot summer day.

So far I'd day I'm doing good besides the headache which is manageable. I'm sure it will go away with a good night sleep. I was told to stop my birth control pill today as well so I did that. I'm not looking forward to what will come from that... For one because it starts your cycle over again, but mostly because I was prescribed them for managing the length of my cycles (as they were wonky at some time). But I'm not complaining, I'm sure there are far worst things out there.

So Day 1 has ended. I'm happy. I'm really proud of my focus (even when I was at my sister soccer tournament and the smell of hotdogs was in the air...) and I can't wait to get my diet plan to know what I'm actually doing! Tomorrow will be shake day. I'll look for some veggies to bring with me (which I know I can eat up to one cup!) and I think unlimited celery.. Not sure! But either way even if I make a mistake by just doing what I think is right I know that it has to be much better than eating "regular" foods...

So I'm calling it a night! I will post again tomorrow!

Good night!

gabythegirlnextdoor

So it begins... the ups and downs of weightloss and being healthy

I got the call.

I finally got the call.

50 weeks after my first meeting with the doctor I got the confirmation: I am getting surgery on August 4th 2014.

I was in shock. I was excited but I felt like it was just a dream...

The hospital called me at work and my boss handed me the phone so I was kind of scared at first until I heard the secretary say she was calling to confirm my surgery date. I quickly wrote everything down to make sure I didn't forget anything. I then handed the phone back to my boss and told her. It's happening!

I got to tell my closest family and friends, all of which seemed more excited than I was (only because I'm still processing the fact that's its actually happening).

I waited for 4 years. 4 long years. During those years I met with another doctor (who was pushing another surgery on me and made me feel super uncomfortable)... Mind you I had waited a whole year for his clinic to call me to even acknowledge they had received my request to get on the waiting list. You can imagine my despair when that whole process flopped.

I then put myself on the waiting list for another doctor (of which I had heard of after browsing an online chat forum filled with other people who were waiting, who were going for their tests, and some who had just had their surgeries (lapband or other). This new doctor apparently only did the lapband and was the best and it was apparently really worth it seeking his help. So I got on the phone and gave my information to the secretary. I was excited. There was something. About 9 or 10 months later I received a letter advising me that the doctor had to take an early retirement and all the patients and future patients on the waiting list would be transferred to other nearby doctors. Guess where? To the clinic of the first doctor. I wasn't too pleased but figured maybe it was meant to be.

Well I was wrong.

I called the clinic (now back with doc #1) to ask about my ranking and to know if there was any plans of scheduling me for an appointment anytime soon? "No ma'am.  If you were not seen by him yet and you were on his wait list then you have to fill out the form on our website so someone call contact you to get on our waiting list."

Here I was. Back at square one. I waited for over a year before they contacted me the first time and they tried to force a decision on me. I wait another year with a different doctor only to be pushed back to the doctor I didn't like and to top it all off have to fill out the form once again and risk waiting another year if not more?

I wasn't having it. That's when I nearly gave up.

Until I read on the forum about ladies getting their surgery done at a hospital near my hometown. Not exactly practical by public transit (leaving from Montreal to go somewhere on the South Shore by metro and bus can sum up yo a total of 3 hours of transit...)

There wasn't much info but I decided to look up the hospital's number and give them a call. I gave my information and left it at that. I honestly forgot about it and kind of became used to the fact I would be forever fat. Forever unhealthy. And forever insecure.

Now before someone comes on and says that I'm taking the easy way out do your research.

Fast forward to a year later (July 2013): I'm home recovering from carpal tunnel release surgery and get a call saying I could come to a group meeting and get information. So I went with my mom and got myself "registered" for an appointment with the surgeon.

That went well. Although different types of surgeries can be performed he genuinely respected my choice of the lapband and I felt comfortable with him accepting my decision.

Fast forward a few months... I have a series of tests at the hospital (ECG, bloodwork, weigh-in, etc) and leave to go home with a device to measure my heart rate to see if I have sleep apnea. I didn't get a call back so I assumed I'm fine. I also met with the anesthesiologist in February 2014 who explained the anaesthesia and a bit of what she did which was comforting.

Now here we are. July 2014. And I'm getting my surgery next month. It is no longer a process. It is no longer a dream, an aspiration, a desperation. It is finally reality.

Sunday (tomorrow) marks day 1 of my "detox" diet. I now have to "shrink" my liver to make sure the surgeon can get easy access to the top portion of my stomach (where it connects to the duodenum). I have to put my mind to it and really focus for 39 days. It motivates me even more now that it's happening. I'm ready.

So I'm putting aside that I'm in the midst of moving and im going to concentrate on my 30 days. I have to go out and buy my "diet" foods and wanted to take "before" pictures.

I think I'm going to try to document the process from here on out. I wish I had read something so detailed when I was first doing my research.

Who knows!

Until next time,

gabythegirlnextdoor

Lapband update: finally on the wait list for the surgery!

Hello!

I'm pretty excited about this... Haven't shared with many people but I have recently had my group meeting with the surgeon I had registered with last year. Thinking they had forgotten about me I decided to start dieting and believe that this wasn't going to happen...

My mother kept trying to convince me to call them so I gave him and promised her I'd call the next day. It just so happened that the next morning they called to confirm a group meeting (information session) with other candidates and the surgeon!

Following this meeting I had my first private appointment with my surgeon and I was so relieved when he assured me I was the perfect candidate! Going back to 2 years ago when the other surgeon was trying to push me to choose another type of surgery... I felt really relieved that this surgeon was actually siding with my decision and giving me the choice. 

After 3 years of researching, meeting with doctors, deception and anxiety I am finally so many steps closer. The best part was receiving the letter confirming my admission on the surgery waiting list. I consider this such a big milestone in my journey. 

My plan right now is to continue eating healthy and follow my doctors' advice very carefully (both my surgeon and my family doctor). I am looking forward to what the next steps will be.