Day 32: the last supper

Today was the last day. Let the excitement roll in and wash over me. I had even prepared myself by bringing my anxiety pills with me at work in case of an attack. I was excited. I tried my best to focus on work and let the hours go by so I wouldn't have to think about it. And now here we are. It's 12:44am and in 6 hours I will be at the hospital checking in. I'm not nervous but I'm excited. 

I spoke to friends and family about my fear of anesthesia and all seemed very comprehensive. It actually helped me feel much better and made me dig out old tricks my psychologist had given me about the anxiety I get when I am not in control of a situation. 

My hospital bag is fully prepared. My purse and documents, and doubles (just in case!) and my medication along with anticoagulants and ready. 

The best is: I'm ready!

I want to start my new life. I want to feel alive. I want to close this chapter of my life an start a new one.

This is my moment.

gabythegirlnextdoor